Daisy Laverty Appleton

It came as a shock to Paul (daddy) and I that we were pregnant, but a happy shock! This was first baby for us both. My pregnancy was a blessing, it was too smooth, no swollen ankles, no morning sickness, I felt bright as a button. Daisy's scans went well, each time we heard her heartbeat it sounded perfect, our little Drum 'n Base baby, I had good blood pressure and iorn levels. I got to full term, then one week over, then 10 days. I was booked in to be induced at 2 weeks but I so much wanted to go naturally. Three occassions between 10 days and 2 wks the midwife attempted a sweep. We listened to Daisy's heart all three times, the second time Sat 20th Oct there was a slight deceleration and I got sent for a CTG. After being monitored almost an hour the sister told me I was carrying a healthy happy little baby and sent me home. The third attept of a sweep Mon 22nd Oct was successful, my midwife listened to Daisy's heart for quite a while and all was well, I was so excited at the idea our baby might arrive within hours.

I went into labour that night, but slept through the early contractions. I felt quite ill the next day, contractions were 8 mins apart. I called the midwife who talked me through everything and I felt reassured all was normal. I was clueless. Later I rang back I told her my contractions were all over the place and I hadn't felt baby move in a while, she told me baby could be resting before the big job and came out to examine me. That's were our excitment disappeared, we couldn't hear a heartbeat and rushed into hospital for a scan. Lay in a room with 4 nurses and a consultant we watched the screen, they thought there was movement to begin with and we felt some hope but then they realised it was my breathing. Perhaps they knew, I don't know, but no-one said for a while and Paul and I just sat there thinking don't let this be real. Then the consultant finally confirmed we had lost Daisy. We didn't know she was a little girl, not until we met her the next day.

I was a big fan of the idea of natural birth (who was I kidding!) I'd written a birth plan and opted not to have pethadine as it would pass to baby, though now I don't know what I'd have done without it then! It made me so ill, but it also took me to another place where I didn't yet have to face my emotions. Three pethadine jabs and 16 hrs after being admitted to hospital Daisy was born at 2:10pm on Wednesday 24th Oct 2007. She was so perfect, so much more beautiful than we ever thought possible. I just was overwhelmed with grief, gutted, drugged up too much to take it all in. After an examination the midwives bathed Daisy and Paul dessed her and held her and cried while I slept off the drugs. The other midwives came in and fussed over her and held her like they would any little one, this ment so much to me. It made me feel so proud. Chrissie the Sister nursed her and kissed her little head. I spent the night with my beautiful Daisy beside me, the most precious night of my life. I held her and examined every little part of her body so I could get to know her. I told her how beautiful she was, how loved by mummy, daddy and all the family and I slept with her cradled in my arms.

I'd a high temprature and the doctor thought Daisy's loss could be related to an infection, still waiting for the blood and placenta results. We may never know. But we have to find peace with this and believe God had other plans for our sweet girl.


Daisy's funeral was 6 days after her loss at our local village church. I didn't really go to services but I did pop up there during the week before Daisy's birth to pray about strength in labour and a healthy birth.... Then Paul and I sat outside the church and took in the view of the sea. We asked the vicar if we could have Daisy buried there as it was so personal to us, amazingly this was to be the first baby's funeral he had done since the loss of his own little 6 mth old boy 33 yrs before, bless him for having the strength. Daisy had a perfect little coffin, with fairies dancing among daisies painted around it. Paul and I went to see her that morning, I was so frightened to look at her, I needn't have been, she looked so peaceful and beautiful, I'm sure that's what carried us through the day. We kissed her goodbye, tucked in our photo and the little things our family wanted to be with her. A St. Christopher's, an angel, a little cross and a baby Bible. Daisy had a journey bear that came in her little coffin to guide her along the way, I thought that was a sweet gesture.

The service was lovely, a beautiful light shone into the church and the vicar read The Stolen Chid, by WB Yates, Aunty Lizzy played the flute so beautifully and we listened to Jimmy Cliff's 'Many Rivers To Cross' maybe little Daisy heard this before. Daisy was laid to rest beneath a silver berch where her daddy since hung a bird feeder and a few little Christmas decorations. We visit Daisy there but we know she's is everywhere not just there, she is always with us.

I miss her so much, I don't understand why she had to go. When I fell pregnant I was so sure this little baby that grew inside me was going to turn my life around, make me strong, give me a great love and a real sense of purpose. She has done all this and more, she has made me a mother and I can be so proud of her.

I miss you my sweet beautiful girl. Look after her dear Heavenly Father, be sure she knows mummy and daddy love her and send to me a feather xxx